The mind is a powerful thing.

Love. hate. care. ruined. sleepy. shit. mother. child. eyes. baby. dislike. like. fat. envy. sorry. ‘ I feel like crying uncontrolably ‘. what’s wrong with me?  lucky (8).anorexia nervosa. bitch. lies. harsh. fight. scream. hippie. nerves. chasing cars (8). future. past. free fallin’ (8). school. runaway. bad idea. promise. hide. Facebook. WindowsLiveMessenger.  see ya’.  I don’t know. lost. stupid. mad. useless. ugly. happyness. sing. My Bro’. forever. never. ‘nice to meet you’. two- face liar. kiss me. kick me. stab me. Peter  Pan. fantasy. hunger. humanity. help. nature. smile or fake it atleast. time goes by so. fast. bored. Teenager. What ever. Leave me alone. attention seeking. huh ? confused. save me now. Need. want. have. spoilt. apologies. shut up ! change. why ? people. 6.8 billion. oh well. don’t worry. I’ll survive, I always do.

I had the best time with you, thanks.

Steve & Joy <3

On Friday, I met my boyfriend for real. It was amazing, really.. it was just.. wow. Steve was looking perfect, as ever & I had my best dress on. We were walking down the seafront and he bought me an ice cream that sadly ended up in the bin ’cause it kinda melted all over me.. yeah..

We then decided to take a picture. Together. He put his arm around me, I smiled a little, the picture was taken. Then we.. had our.. first kiss… It was just wonderful. It was fearless. I’d certainly say that I’m never going to forget that day.

The next day, my mum and her friend went to this engagement party. Which meant 8 hours with Steve. I went round his house and we ‘watched a film’ . That was fecking amazing too.. ( don’t worry honey I was NOT getting fed up with it at all ! ) On the sunday, we went for a walk. After our little walk hand in hand, we entered this pub and had Coke. Sitting there, drinking, was SO funny. These kids were playing about in the water and it was just hilarious XD Once we got up to carry on walking, everyone was looking at us… kinda strange..

Monday morning, I went to see Thomas & Jane. I realized how much I missed being there… I also got covered in stickers but that’s another story. xD In the afternoon I met up with Steve and we went to Gunwharf. We fancied some Coke so we walked into a bar but YOU HAD TO HAVE I.D TO BUY COCA COLA ! I mean come ON ! So we bought some in Costa coffee. Steve & I also went to HMV to buy Twilight that we didn’t really watch…

On the last day, I went out to lunch with some old collegues of mum’s from  years ago. Our song (Love story by T. Swift) came on the radio while I was eating… Just when I was talking about Steve. After that meal Mum and I went to pick Steve up so we could go and see Kate, one of my old friends. I had such a great afternoon, it was like I had never left. We laughed alot. If you want to see the pictures we took, go to Facebook and add Joy Beill Dodson Wiilliams as a friend.

I just wanted to say thank you, Steve, for making those days the best days. I will continue loving you, FOREVER. Don’t you ever forget that.

Joy xoxo

England, here I come :)

Tomorrow, I’m getting on ‘ a great big thing with wings ‘ known as a plane ! XD ( Memories… )Yes, I’m going to spend 6 days in England, five whole days with the man of my life, Steve. We’re meeting on Friday, the 21/08/09 ! Can’t wait ! But then part of me is really, extremely nervous…I just hope he doesn’t get put off by the real me.

Hope everything’s gonna go well, don’t exactly know how the week is gonna plan out but It’ll sure be fun

apart from that I have nothing to say really.. TTFN

Joy xoxo

Just another song out of millons that reminds me of you.

Inseparable lyrics

[Verse 1:]
Take my hand tonight
We can run so far
We can change the world, do anything we want
We could stop for hours just staring at the stars
They shine down to show us

[Chorus:]
You know when the sun forgets to shine
I’ll be there to hold you through the night
We’ll be running so fast we could fly tonight
And even when we’re miles and miles apart
You’re still holding all of my heart
I promise it will never be dark
I know we’re inseparable

[Verse 2:]
We could run forever if you wanted to
I would not get tired
Because i’d be with you
I’ll keep singing this song until the very end
We’d done all these things
yeah

[Chorus:]
You know when the sun forgets to shine
I’ll be there to hold you through the night
We’ll be running so fast we can fly tonight
And even when we’re miles and miles apart
You’ll still be holding all of my heart
I promise it will never be dark
I know we’re inseparable

[Bridge:]
I would give it all
Never let you fall
‘Cause you know we’re inseparable
I would give it all
Just to show you I’m in love
‘Cause you know we’re inseparable

[Chorus:]
You know when the sun forgets to shine
I’ll be there to hold you through the night
We’ll be running so fast we can fly tonight
And even when we’re miles and miles apart
You’ll still be holding all of my heart
I promise it will never be dark
I know we’re inseparable.

We will see what the future brings.

I <3 Steve

Listening to Taylor Swift. Thinking. I realise you’re everything to me. My love will grow. I hate myself for even doubting. I don’t know why I made you suffer, it didn’t get me anywhere did it ?. I know you seem to of forgiven me but I haven’t forgiven myself for being so mean. I’m sorry.

18 days to go until I can finaly be with you in your arms. I can’t wait, I’m getting cravings xD.

Nothing else to blog about for the moment.

Thank you for everything <3

TTFN,

Joy xoxo

tt I It’s not just because I’m a ‘hippie’ that I care.

Watch this video. I hope it’ll make you realize.

I Just love this song.

I Will Be lyrics

There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears I cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You’re the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe cause your here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Here with me do you see your all I need

And I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK.

I know you’ve heard this song before but I just wanted to remind you that this song has everything in it I want to tell you. Just so you know I care.

Joy xoxo

Five days.

So as you read the last post you should know that I went away for six days to a very boring place.

The first day was okay, just relaxing from the 5 hour journey. I took some pics of flowers ( yay –’ )

The second day was interesting. We went to a place called Ouradour. This plce had been invaded by the Nazis during WWII. It was completely destroyed. The place was really quite spooky. Not surprising really, seeing as people were burnt to death and had to beg for their lives…

Then, on the third day, we went to Angouleme. A Place FULL of shops ! So yes, we went SHOPPING ! I bought a few things,including a hippie style headband that slipped out of my hand – We had to go look for it for about 15 minutes. After that This guy came up to us and said to me ‘ Hi I just realized you look exactly like my daughter when she was your age, nice to meet you.’  That was definetly a bit freaky.

On the fourth day, Mum, her friend and I went to this castle. I felt like I was on the set of ‘ Love Story’ music video xD Guess what, they had costumes ! And Yes, Mum DID make me dress-up ! I agreed to put a dress on that looked like Juliet’s, had a quick picture taken then took it off.

On the fith day we didnt do ANYTHING ! It was really boring ! I was so bored I read a few pages of the bible. That meant I was REALLY bored ! ( No offense to the religious people ) I just don’t see the point. Anyway, I made ‘friends’ with a cow. That’s when I decided to become a vegeterian.

Plus,I had to suffer ‘Steveness withdrawall ‘ XD It wasn’ t MY idea of a Holiday.

Joy xoxo

Everyone gets sad sometimes.

I’ve had confusion, love and hate going through my mind for about 3 days now. But, every cloud has a silver lining right ?

Thanks to Morreen & Steve, I feel slightly better now, apart from the lack of ‘ Steveness ‘ ( yes, it’s in ‘ S&J’s dictionnary’ !  Available in stores soon. ) during the following week. I’m going away for 5/6 days into the middle of ‘boredom town’ also known as ‘ Charentes’, the north of France I think… So that’s going to be interesting.

Anyway I was quite pleased with my horoscope today :

Love:
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Career:
Now is the time to believe you can succeed, imagine yourself living the life you desire, and it will all happen.
Health:
Recharge yourself with a nice vacation.
Wealth:
You may face some financial losses by the end of the month.

As proven tonight on webcam, laughter is, for me, the closest distance between two people.

Yet I’m worried about Steve, who seems to be down at the moment. I just want him to know that I’m going to be okay and that we will soon be together.  ‘Fall to pieces’ by Avril Lavigne describes me well at the moment. Please check it out.

Joy xoxo

I’m sorry but I just can’t take anymore.

I have finally had enough. Maybe I’m just being mellow-dramatic but I really can’t take anymore.

I’ve tried to forgive, I’ve tried to see reason, I’ve tried believe me, I have but I’ve reached the limit.

There ’s this girl I used to know, we used to have loads of fun together but I always thought there was something about me that was bothering her. But after every fight, we ended up friends again. I guess that’s what friends do right ? Yeah I thought so too… Then I moved and things changed, alot. We went through 3 years of nothing, no emails, no letters, Nothing. Which didn’t really matter ’cause we soon met again on Facebook. That’s when things start to go… wrong, I guess…

You see, She made  sims of her friends, then this guy commented on my one, this guy then became my boyfriend and It seems like she can’t stand us being in love. I’ve tried to listen to her, I understand that she’s concerned but I can’t help myself from falling in love can I ?

I’m dissapointed. Not in her but in myself, because I feel I might be doing the horrid thing. I’ve always dreaded this moment. I said goodbye to this person, the person I called my friend. Sadly, you sometimes go through so much stuff that in the end you think to yourself ” What’s the point ? I give up ! ” and I do give up, I can’t explain why, I’ve just had enough of her and the moods. I never thought I’d choose a person over another…

I’m so sorry, I really am but it’s best if I stay out of your life. I wish you the best,

Joy xoxo

my fave songs…

I like these songs so much because of the lyrics & not necessarily the tune.

- Chasing cars – Snow patrol

- Love Story – Taylor Swift

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZajV0ns1YLc&feature=PlayList&p=7B84FE750EFB2AE7&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=63 

Romeo & juliet video  (L ) )

- Broken strings – James Morrison ft. N. Furtado

-Keep Holding On – Avril Lavigne

- When you’re gone – Avril Lavigne

- Stop this train – John Mayer

- You found me – The fray

- Sometimes – Britney Spears

- Lucky – Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Calliat

- You rock My world – Michael Jackson

- Not a girl not yet a woman – Britney Spears

- Even angels fall – Letter to Cleo

- Don’t leave me – P!nk

- Dear Mr president

- Right Back in the water – Jesse McCartney

-Because you live – Jesse McCartney

- Memories – Within Temptation

- Never say never – The fray

- If everyone cared – Nickel Back

- Wake up America – Miley Cyrus

- Butterfly fly away – Miley Cyrus

- Join me in death – HIM ( a bit sinical but good )

- They don’t care about us – Michael Jackson

Mostly dedicated to the one I love dearly, and I love him even tho I’m extremely dissapointed in him.